BIG SUSTAINABLE LIFE

I wrote this poem at the end of the Ridge to Reef course I recently completed in St. Croix at The Virgin Island Sustainable Farm Institute.

Letter to my self:

I keep thinking about that other life, back there, wherever there is.  It seems like a dream.  But wasn’t this supposed to be the dream?  Not anymore. Where I feel the most right about myself, the people around me, what I am doing, where I happen to be- I want this to be my chosen reality.  I acknowledge that my reality is what I make it. Back there seems unreal.  Like a movie I’ve seen before, it’s repetitive- sometimes it goes nowhere. I don’t want to repeat anything that hasn’t brought joy to my life.  I know this will be difficult, perhaps unavoidable. I want to take this away with me.

Right now there is a breeze.  I can hear it as the trees rustle about- connected with each other, and me, all while I think and write.  I want to multi-task more in this way, as I connect with nature more naturally- it should seep in to my bones. I shouldn’t have to do it, but I should let it do it to me. Listen to nature, talk to nature, feed from nature, be with nature.  These things are more important to me now than ever.

Forgiveness and sharing, listening: these are things I want to do more, all the time, with people.  Singing, dancing, laughing too.  Feeling comfortable in my own skin- skin is nature, it is everything- acknowledge this and the former is possible.  I want to remember this.

There are so many things I can do now, but even more that I can teach, even if that teaching is simply spreading the word.  I want to teach more. I’d like to be a mentor to someone(s). Now I know how to do this.  I feel confident and ready.  I want to expand on and implement everything I have learned in the past two months into what I do everyday, no mater where I am.  This constant is important to me.  I know it’s important to others.  I’ll need to continue to trust in my beliefs. They’ve pretty much always been there, always held the same truth.  Reaffirmation of their qualities and new understanding of their broader connections, here, has been important.  I want to maintain this notion wherever I go. I must.  Beliefs matter; they are the backbone of reality.

Seeing more without looking.  Feeling the tentacles of the moment.  Whatever happens to be great and whole around me, around us, hold on to this- grasp it with everything I’ve got.  Remember this.  I want to remember this.  I know that I need these things here- all of these wants. Doing and being are what you do with needs. Nothing else, especially wanting, will do.  I will always take this to heart, wherever I go. I do take this to heart, at this moment sitting in a corner of the Mandala Garden, next to a morniga, banana, papaya, holy basil, neem, cranberry hibiscus, chaya, palm, cuban oregano (where I first learned of this amazing species), seasoned peppers, akee- not to forget culantro at my feet, a little friend I have come to adore.  It is time to always look around and notice the plants that share my company. I do not have to know their names or what they are for.  But perhaps my curiosity, this continuous fire, will lead me there.  Just noticing the plants, taking them in, is a connection I will never give up.

All of which that is important to me has grown, even though there are certain things I no longer find important. And I’ve realized that it’s not just about ‘saving the planet’.  It’s about the people and their interaction, their connection with each other.  The planet will save itself. Only we can save each other.  It’s about this giant organism and whether or not we choose to remain part of it.  I’d choose to because my reality right now is in love with it.  I choose to live out my reality in this way, how I’ve done for the past two months, and at times, unbeknownst to myself, my entire life, because this is worth it to me.  This life, in whatever form it takes is so fascinating.  I know I am so curious- I don’t want it to stop.  So I will ‘save the planet’ by saving myself.  My integrity is intact.  I am preserving my connection to all that is.  To nature, to you, to me, and especially the stars.